Clematis Deserve
by Exile Wrath
Summary: At 5 years old, Tsunayuki's parents were murdered, and on the day of their funeral, a stranger takes her in and decides to raise her to teach her how to take revenge on the people who killed her parents. Fastforward 10 years later, and Reborn shows up on the doorstep to make Tsunayoshi the Vongola Decimo, no matter how much Tsuna protests. Parental!OC27, allxfem!27 disguised as guy
1. Your Name is Sawada Tsunayoshi

**Exile: This is technically my second story for the KHR fandom. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Summary: ****At 5 years old, Tsunayuki's parents were murdered, and on the day of their funeral, a stranger takes her in and decides to raise her to teach her how to take revenge on the people who killed her parents. Fast forward 10 years later, Reborn shows up on the doorstep to make Tsuna Vongola Decimo. So now Tsunayoshi has to juggle keeping the fact that he's a girl secret, he's making plans to murder an entire mafia family, and a baby is trying to train him to be a Mafia Don!**  


**Warning: Unbeta'd. Contains OCs.**

**Pairings: Parental!OC27, OCxOC, all fem!27**

**Last time I checked, my birth certificate did not say "Amano Akira". Thus, I don't own.**

* * *

"Nana…are you sure about this?" Sawada Iemitsu asked softly. Next to him, Sawada Nana nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving the little brown-haired figure that was in front of a grave and wailing loudly. On the headstone read the words:

_Sawada Iemitsu | Sawada Nana_

_~Life nor Death can tear us apart~_

_1973 – 2002 | 1975 – 2002 _

Nana muffled a sob as she stared at her child, alone and crying in the rain. Her husband stood beside her, rubbing her arm comfortingly, "I…I am sure. But…my child…" turning to the External Advisor of the Vongola Family, the tears suddenly disappeared, "Why do we have to put Tsuna through this?"

Iemitsu grimaced at the pressure that his petite wife was able to exert on his arm with her fingernails alone, "It's because…Tsuna will have to eventually become the head of the family. But the way our child is now, we will either hold Tsuna back or push Tsuna too far. That's why we have to do this." Nana gave him the death glare that was normally reserved for kidnappers or assassins.

"Who will take care of Tsu-chan then?" she demanded fiercely, maternal instincts kicking in. Iemitsu gave a nervous gulp, making sure to keep an eye on Tsuna, who was now just kneeling silently in front of the grave. "You better not be sending Tsuna to foster care!"

"Nana, I would never do that! Look over there," he hissed in reply, pointing a finger at the black figure that had appeared next to Tsuna. Nana looked at him in alarm, "That's one of my former subordinates. They will take care of Tsuna and protect our child if anything happens," the man explained. "Also, they have a direct line to me in case anything happens to our Tsuna."

Nana frowned. The person talking to her child was altogether suspicious, wearing all black, and in the rain she could make out a faint mess of black hair. "What are they saying?" When there was no reply from Iemitsu, her eyes dulled and she sighed resignedly. "I guess it's time then…" with one last look at their beloved child, the two Mafioso faded into the rain, heading towards the airport to board a plane to Italy.

* * *

Sawada Tsunayuki knelt in front of the grave, tears trickling down her face as she looked up into the rainy sky. It had been so fast. One moment they had been laughing and talking happily over the dinner table, the next moment her parents had frozen and slumped over. She had called the paramedics right away, trying to check her parents for a pulse, but when the EMTs had arrived, they told her the sad fact.

Her parents were dead. Their cups had contained poison.

And now here she was in front of their graves. At only five years old…she was left alone.

"You are Sawada Tsunayuki?" an unfamiliar voice asked. The young girl looked up to meet the fierce gaze of a person dressed rather lightly with a black scarf wrapped around her neck. In hand was a black umbrella, but it was closed and the person was leaning on it. Tsunayuki looked up with a sad, blank expression.

"What does it matter to you?" she asked, voice sounding oddly mature for a five-year-old. The dark person just continued looking at her impassively.

"I'm a former acquaintance of your father. Rokujou Akito," they said tersely, "I was instructed to take you in after any case of emergency happened to your parents."

After a few seconds, the child replied, "I don't believe you."

Rokujou rolled their eyes and squatted next to the child, "Look, you don't need to believe me. Not at all, really. I'm going to just point out a few things. All I'm going to ask is that you listen," Tsuna bit her lip, and then nodded. "Good. First of all, since the doctor's said that they were poisoned to death, then their death was far from accidental or suicidal. They were clearly murdered, right?"

"What's murdered mean?" the kid asked, "I know what poison is, because I looked it up in the dictionary, but I don't know what that means." Rokujou-san bit their lip and facepalmed, "and are you a boy or a girl?"

"…My gender isn't something you need to know. Let me just tell you that I don't fall in love with girls, much less little kids. I might have worked for the *mutter* but I'm not a sicko," Tsuna blinked several times, "Murdered means that someone made your parents die. They wanted your parents to die, so they made them die," one second later, Tsunayuki hiccupped and tears started running down her face again.

_Kutabare. Iemitsu would kill me if he found out I made his precious daughter cry. _Rokujou panicked internally.

"W-w-why would someone want to kill Mommy and Daddy? They've never done anything bad, ever!" she sobbed, "Mommy wouldn't even smack the bee that stung me once! She just opened the door and let it out and then put stuff on the sting!"

…the person rolled their eyes again. _Dear Lord, are you kidding? The woman that's known as "Lucky Shot Seven" wouldn't kill a bee? Psh, she's practically the scariest person in the world when she has a sniper rifle in hand when someone's in danger! _

"Well, the point is, if someone killed your parents, who did nothing wrong," Rokujou lied through their teeth, "then don't you think that they should get what your parents got? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, poison for poison, and evil for evil. Doesn't that make sense? Give what you get, take what is taken, and wreak vengeance at the best time possible." At the child's confused expression, the person hastily added, "Vengeance means revenge."

"That makes sense…" the child said softly, tears still running, "The people that killed Mommy and Daddy should be punished!"

_OhthankyouGod. Hard part's over, now I just have to drag her home. _The androgynous person thought thankfully. _And then Iemitsu won't throttle me to death for being a playboy in the Mafia and accidentally ruining a bunch of missions since I attract too much attention…even though I'm technically not one._

A slasher smile formed on the person's lips, but instead of feeling scared, Tsunayuki felt…like someone had just ripped open a cage and beaten up the kidnapper, "Do you want revenge?" they asked in a low, husky voice.

Without hesitation, the child responded.

"Yes."

_Checkmate and game over._ Rokujou declared in their head. As they stood up, Rokujou opened the black umbrella.

"I can teach you how to take revenge. However, that would mean that you have to live with me. I'm not necessarily the best parent, but I can help you take revenge. Do you accept my offer?" indecision flashed through the child's eyes. "I'll take care of you and feed you and clothe you. I owe your parents a favor, so I'd like to return it by taking care of you."

The five year old looked up and then back at the grave, then stood up slowly, her head barely reaching the person's hips, and nodded twice.

"Please take care of me from now on, Rokujou-san," with that, the two faded into the rain as well, headed towards a small house in Namimori.

* * *

Lesson 0 – Your name is Sawada Tsunayoshi

"The moment you enter the front door, your name will be Sawada Tsunayoshi, understand?" The still strange person asked Tsunayuki, who furrowed her brow in confusion. They had walked from the graveyard for about half an hour until they reached a modest two-story house painted white and black, making it appear to be an old photograph. The yard was full of gravel pebbles raked in a way that made it resemble a Buddhist rock garden, with low bonsai trees and large, flat stones everywhere as well. The house itself emitted a lonely, gloomy atmosphere.

"Why?" she asked, "What's wrong with my name?"

"Well, if a boy is named "Tsunayuki", then people will get suspicious."

"But I'm a girl!"

"But I changed your records and birth certificate to say that you are a boy. Understand?" This was why Akito didn't like little kids. They asked too many questions and unintentionally ruined meticulously planned plots. There was also the issue with wanting to know the reason for EVERYTHING. It was a pain in the head, so Akito always made sure to be gender-ambiguous around people. Didn't want anyone to accidentally saddle them with a kid, and they didn't want to suffer back pain the day after. Yes, this meant that Akito was indeed a virgin at eighteen years old even with their involvement in the Mafia, but they had definitely heard plenty complaints about "the morning after" from their coworkers.

_Really, the only reason I'm doing this is because it's my only ticket out of the Mafia._ Akito thought to them-self.

"So do you agree? Because from now on you will no longer be known as "Tsunayuki", but rather as "Tsunayoshi". If you want to avenge your parents, then you can't be a girl. If you are, then…then people will underestimate you and you won't be able to get people to help you as easily," Akito explained hastily, wanting to get out of the rain and into the comfortable house.

Tsunayuki nibbled on her bottom lip, eyes full of indecision. In their head, Akito snapped. _Goddarnit, kid! Make up your mind already!_

"Okay," Tsuna said quietly. The adult looked at the little girl and their jaw dropped. The indecision had been completely replaced with burning determination, two little hands clutched in tight fists trembling with anger, and both eyes, which Akito had initially thought were brown, were now a fierce orange. "I will be a boy to beat up the bad men that killed Mommy and Daddy."

Smirking, "Okay. You can keep your nickname as Tsuna still, by the way. Now come in…" at this Tsuna noticed that smirk evolve into a wolfish grin, "little boy."

The door was unlocked and Akito held it open for the child to come in. But the moment their back was turned and the door was being locked, a redhead sidestepped into the hallway, brandishing a pair of chopsticks. Tsuna's jaw dropped and the man (who was wearing an apron) threw the chopsticks at Akito – who Tsuna still had yet to figure out if they were male or female. The redhead was definitely a man, although why in the world he was wearing a black apron and glaring at Rokujou-san, looking very much like a housewife having a staredown with their husband.

_These people are weird. _She- no, he, he was a _boy _now, thought quietly. _Is Rokujou-san gay? _As if reading his mind, Akito glared darkly at Tsuna.

"I. Am. Not. Gay!" he (_The way the person talks means he's a man…right? _The five-year-old pondered.) hissed, "You're the gay one here, Kaen!"

The Kaen-person raised an eyebrow, "Says the crossdresser. Where the hell were you? I made dinner an hour ago! And who's the kid?"

Puffing up his cheeks in irritation, Tsuna tugged Rokujou's pant leg. Looking up at the man under the bright hallway light made his eyes widen at the very, very long black hair that was tied in a high ponytail but still trailed down to his waist. His hand twitched towards the hair in curiosity, "Rokujou-san, who's that man?" Tsuna asked politely, not wanting to anger his new guardian, hand still wanting to have an experimental tug on the dark strands.

"The redhead is Teritsukeru Kaen. He's my friend," Rokujou snapped to Tsuna, then turned to face Kaen, "How did you get in the house?"

"Who's the kid?" Kaen retorted.

"How did you get in the house?" Akito repeated.

"Who is the kid?" the man said again, glaring at Tsuna ominously, who had retreated behind Rokujou for safety.

"How did you get in my house?" was the reply, his temper rising and left eye twitching angrily.

"Who. Is. The. Kid?"

"I said…" here the man sucked in a huge breath and stared at Kaen in a way that promised slow, tortuous death, "HOW THE FUCKING FRAG GRENADE DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?"

"Watch your language around kids," Kaen said smugly, "And I picked the lock, dumbass. So who's the kid?"

* * *

_Dear Future Self,_

_I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi, although I used to be called Tsunayuki. Akito-nii (he's my new daddy, but he told me to call him Nii-san because it makes him feel old) gave me a new name today._

_Today I went to my parents' funeral. Mommy and Daddy died two weeks ago. Akito-nii says that since they were poisoned, and that the people who put poison in their drinks should die because they killed innocent people. _

_My new home is 6011 Sabure Street, Namimori, Japan. I actually have two daddies. There's Akito-nii, who I think is a man, and he's my first daddy. Then there's Kaen-nii, who doesn't live with Akito-nii but comes over every day, Akito-nii said. _

_Akito-nii's full name is Rokujou Akito. He is really tall. He's so tall that he only needs to hop and his hand touches the ceiling! He has black eyes and really long black hair that feels like running water. His voice is kind of funny, because whenever he yells he sounds like Mommy. He talks mean, but he acts nice to me. I think he hates Kaen-nii, because when we came in the house Akito-nii gave him a really mean glare. Akito-nii hates it when people touch his hair, and so he always has it in a tall ponytail at the top of his head so then other kids don't play with it. He also likes his scarf a lot (it's black too. I think he likes black stuff) and Kaen-nii told me that he even sleeps with it on._

_Kaen-nii has really cool red hair. He told me that he was born with it. His full name is Teritsukeru Kaen, and he's taller than Akito-nii! His hair sticks up and it looks like his head is on fire sometimes. He said that it's natural, too, but then Akito-nii told me that he uses a lot of gel everyday and Kaen-nii threw his chopsticks at him. I think Kaen-nii likes Akito-nii. He doesn't like me a lot, but he's a really good cook. Kaen-nii doesn't yell a lot, and when he talks he sounds nice, but when he saw me he sounded really mean and Akito-nii had to whisper something in his ear to make him calm down. Then after dinner, Kaen-nii left and Akito-nii washed the dishes and showed me my room._

_My room is brown and orange and red. There's a big bookcase in the corner and two big windows on the walls. The walls are dark red (Akito-nii said they were brick red) and there's a desk that has an orange lamp on it, and there is a computer there. Akito-nii said that I could use it when I was older, and to not break it or he'd kick me out. My bed is orange and has a really fluffy brown pillow, and right now I am writing this letter in the orange notebook Akito-nii gave me. He said not to write to a diary, but to my future self, because then when I get older I can remember things._

_Dear future me, I, Sawada Tsunayoshi, swear to repay the killer. And eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, death for death, and evil for evil. _

_March 26__th__, 2002_

* * *

"Akito, are you sure about this?" Kaen asked quietly over the phone, "Even if this is going to get you out of the Mafia, this is a pureblooded Vongola we're talking about. They're trouble-magnets."

"Kaen, be quiet. Life hates me already, why should I care. The most that Tsuna will cause is making my life a little bit more interesting," he replied, "And besides…you know how much I love causing trouble. I have a feeling that if I raise this kid properly, he'll grow up to cause waves in the Mafia world."

In his apartment, Kaen rolled his eyes, "Well, is teaching the girl to crossdress really necessary, _Ryuukei?_"

"Of course it is, Kaen!" Akito responded, "And really, you know I discarded that identity a long time ago. Why are you so attached to the name?" He shuddered at the laugh that resounded from the other end.

"That's the name that you were using when I first met you, of course," he said playfully, "I love you, Akito-chan~"

His left eye started twitching, "Kaen, I am a _man_. You call me that name again and I will change my fucking lock!" Akito roared, then winced and poked his head in Tsuna's room to make sure she hadn't woken up.

"Yeah, you're as manly as a crossdressing woman can get," Kaen smirked. God, he loved messing with this woman. "Good night, Akito-chan! I love you!"

Akito's cheeks burned as 'he' pressed the "End Call" on 'his' phone. "I'll say those three words to you…over my dead body," 'he' scowled, blushing fiercely. 'His' demeanor turned serious.

"After all, how am I supposed to raise that child properly if I'm a woman?" Akito asked 'himself', taking off 'his' shirt and staring at the tight layer of bandages wrapped around 'his' chest, "That kid is going to learn how to crossdress as a man, and maybe she'll meet someone that falls in love with her without a care about her gender. But life isn't a manga."

"Until then, I'll be a man if it means that I can keep my…"son" safe. Sorry Kaen, I won't be saying "I love you" anytime soon."

* * *

When Tsuna woke up that morning, she looked around in apprehension, not recognizing her surroundings. "Mommy? Daddy?" she asked nervously. Then her memories came back full force, and tears trickled from her eyes at the memory of the funeral.

There hadn't been a lot of people, just the neighbors and some of the people that her mom had met during her family's three years there. Her dad had told her that they had moved to Namimori when she was two, and he was often away doing work. Her mom, Sawada Nana, had spent most of the time taking care of her. She hadn't even gone to daycare or school yet; she was supposed to start this year. Her mom had stayed home most of the time to take care of her.

"Tsuna, are you awake?" A baritone voice called from downstairs. The five-year-old started, and then hurriedly scrambled down the hallway. However, her clumsiness kicked in and she tripped at the top of the flight. Akito poked his head from the kitchen just in time to see her foot slip and he grabbed her hand just as she tumbled down the stairs. "Seriously? When I was five I was able to jump down the stairs in one go. Dang, you're going to be a helpless case, aren't you?"

Tsuna stuck her tongue out at him, "Akito-nii, you're weird!" she pouted. A shiver went up her spine as his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You are a boy now. I can tell that you keep on mentally referring to yourself as a girl. Stop it," he said coldly, "because the moment you stepped in here your fate was sealed, _Tsunayoshi._"

Silence.

"Hai, Akito-nii," the boy said in defeat.

"Listen. I am not going to coddle and protect you. Realize that now," he scowled, "I am simply here to teach and educate you to become someone strong enough to take revenge for your family. Someday I may disappear. Someday I may die. I am not going to be nice to you and treat you like a little kid. You are Sawada Tsunayoshi, _my student._ Understand?"

Seeing the pain flit across the child's face, Akito added hastily, "I'm not going to disappear anytime soon, so don't worry! And I'm not an easy person to kill. So get in the kitchen and eat, deshi."

A small smile tugged at his son's lips, "Hai, otou-san!"

Akito froze on the spot as Tsuna toddled past him and sat at the stool in front of the table, poking at the omelette on the plate in front of him curiously. He stood like that for a full five minutes before snapping out of his shock and roaring at his son,

"Don't call me otou-san! I'm only EIGHTEEN FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

"Hai, hai, Akito-nii."

* * *

Notes:

Nii-san : "Brother"  
Otou-san: "Dad" or "father"  
Deshi: Rough equivalent of "student" or "pupil".  
Hai: "Yes"

Rokujou Akito (Age 18)- the name translates roughly to "Fall of six emotions" However, Akito is a common male's name that means "Autumn/Fall", but in this case it is written as "emptiness (aki)" and the suffix "-to" is used to indicate masculinity. Rokujou is separated as "six (roku)" and "emotion (jou)"

Teritsukeru Kaen (Age 20) – "To ignite a blaze", says a lot about the guy.

* * *

**Um...review?**

**Or Reborn will shoot me TT_TT and then I won't be able to post the next chapter. The Arcobaleno has me at gunpoint right now...**


	2. Reflex Training and Reborn

**AN: Thank you to everyone who favorited, alerted, and reviewed this fic ^_^ It encourages me to write.**

**_Italics_ are used to represent thoughts and the past. I trust the reader's common sense to be able to differentiate.  
**

**Pairings: allfem!27, Parental!OC27, OCxOC**

**Warnings: Parents that are horrible at parenting, an assassin, Reborn, and Hibari.**

**Note: The order of this chapter is: flashback (Tsuna: 8), present (Tsuna: 14), flashback (Tsuna: 8 and starting school), present.**

* * *

Lesson 1- Reflex Training (How to dodge bullets)

_BANG! _

_Akito calmly continued to aim the revolver in his hand at the eight-year-old Tsuna, who was in the midst of his first round of "reflex training", which was really just a nicer way of saying, "Dodging-bullets-that-I-am-aiming-at-you-with-intent-to-kill training". The child dashed about the room in a controlled matter, moving his body as little as possible in order to conserve stamina and dodge the bullets at the same time, as Akito had instructed._

_For three years, theories, diagrams, and words had been brutally drilled into Tsunayoshi's memory. On his eighth birthday, Akito had announced that he had been taught all the battle theory that an eight-year-old could remember, and it was time to put his physical body to work. That had been three months ago, and so far Tsuna had been through enough exercises that an experienced COMSUBIN** member would go pale. Case in point, the "reflex training". Tsuna had already been admitted into the hospital for a broken leg, a paralyzed arm, several knife wounds, and there were countless other miscellaneous injuries that Akito-nii had simply healed himself. Akito-nii seemed fond of dislocating his joints and popping them back in place. They hardly ever took a break during training, and sometimes Akito-nii would be nice enough to give him five minutes rest after popping his shoulder or hip back in. By now, Tsuna was used to the pain, and his trainer said that that was good._

_Ever since he stepped in the door of their house, Tsuna hadn't left any more than eight times for those three years other than the hospital trips. Akito-nii homeschooled him, for which he was grateful. However, his version of "teaching" was extremely harsh. Tsuna had things like high-school level Algebra II, Biology, Chemistry, and History embedded in his head, all because of Akito-nii's amazing ability to emit killer intent as much and as often as he wanted. His teaching method usually consisted of slamming a pile of textbooks in front of Tsuna and locking him up in a room. Whenever Tsuna took country-evaluation tests for homeschooled kids, Akito-nii would "kindly" take off working in the dark room under the floorboards that smelled like gunpowder to sit next to him and hold Tsuna at gunpoint if he so much glanced at the textbooks or dawdled on one question too long. There was one incident in which his gun had run out of bullets the day before and he had resorted to holding a knife over his hand. So Tsuna had trained his mind to always be alert and ready. In order for Tsuna to "study for tests", the boy was forced to run around said gunpowder-smelling workroom and dodge bullets while answering questions that Akito-nii was yelling at him, all with twenty-five pound weights on his wrists and ankles. Each._

_The result? Excellent grades…and bloodstained papers. _

"_Next year, you're going to school," Akito-nii said calmly without batting an eyelash during one of their rare breaks for the day, "You'll be in second grade with other kids. I've already set the foundation into your head. Now it's your turn to make the building. Understand?"_

"_Hiie?" Tsuna expressed shock and disbelief, "Are you serious, Nii-san? I thought you were going to…"_

"_Tsuna, I'm not here to coddle you and be your best friend. I'm your teacher. That doesn't mean just academic subjects. I'm here to teach you in a way that you'll be able to take revenge for your parents, remember?" the man snapped, "Making friends is one of the essential abilities. I can't just bring a kid over and you guys will become instant friends. You need to make them for yourself or the bonds will be superficial. School's the easiest way. Also, I've stayed here for three years without doing any jobs. While you're at school, I'll be off making money for us to buy food and stuff. I already have your papers covered, and all the official documentation is in order. I've already taught you enough that you could easily pass the test for a private high school. So before you start school in April, I'm going to drill in other stuff and focus on your hitman training." _

"_Hai, Akito-nii," Tsuna said quietly. Over the past three years, even through all the spartan training, Tsuna had undoubtedly gotten attached to his stand-in father. He had believed that Akito-nii would always be there, and the homeschooling reinforced that idea. The idea of school and mingling with other kids his age was a foreign concept to him. For the child, there was only Akito-nii, Kaen-nii, and training for revenge in his world. "Anything else?"_

"_Yep. One, I want you to establish a reputation as "Dame-Tsuna" in the town. And two, no one is allowed to know that you are a girl, got it?"_

_Cue jaw drop, "W-w-WHAT? "Dame-Tsuna"? Akito-nii, you can't be serious!" Tsuna protested loudly, eyes full of disbelief. Akito rolled his eyes and clicked the gun's safety. _

"_I'm perfectly serious. If you can dodge the next round of bullets without getting wounded at all, I'll tell you why." Without giving his student any time to respond, a predatory grin emerged on his face and the trigger was pulled once again._

"_Don't you mean if I don't die first!" Tsuna cried, yelping as three bullets flew right by his left ear. And thus their training started again…_

_Three hours later…_

"_So you're still alive," Akito said with a regretful tone. Tsuna glared at him fiercely, clothes soaked with sweat as he panted heavily, "What's that look for, baka-deshi*?"_

"_So what's with the "Dame-Tsuna"? I thought that you were teaching me to become to best at everything!" The child burst out. _

"_I am," Akito scoffed, "But if you think about it, who's going to be more likely of getting accused of being a murder suspect: the brilliant genius that can do anything and everything or the no-good kid that fails everything?"_

_Tsuna's mouth formed an O in realization. "Oh. I get it."_

"_EXACTLY! So you're going to perfect your "Dame-Tsuna" identity for the next few months until school starts again," the long-haired man exclaimed, "The thing is, even though you're dame, all it really is is fooling people into _thinking _that you're useless and no-good. Like when you dodge a bullet, you trip and land on your nose! When you dismantle a trap, you drop your books because they're too heavy for you! When there's an assassin disguised as a student and about to attack you, you trip down the stairs, slouch, and blend into the crowd! The disguise of being someone with horrible, zero capabilities is a highly amusing and effective one!"_

_His son regarded him weirdly. "You're really enthusiastic about this, aren't you?"_

"_Of course! Teaching you how to do all that is going to be _priceless_! And then the endurance training…I'm going to have to video tape it."_

"_Sadist," Kaen commented from the kitchen._

That, _Tsuna grumbled in his mind, _is the understatement of the year.

* * *

"Tsuna! Wake up before I eat all the breakfast and padlock the fridge!" an androgynous voice roared from downstairs.

Promptly, a spiky-haired brunette shot up in his bed and hurriedly changed into his school uniform. He dashed out of the doorway and spotted his father at the bottom of the stairs. Shock overtook his body as he tumbled painfully down all fourteen stairs, much to Akito's amusement. "Ouch…" the "clumsy" boy muttered, rubbing the back of his head with feigned pain.

His dad smirked in a superior manner. "Good job. Just make sure that you don't hesitate right before you trip. Makes it less convincing. And don't trip every time; it'll get old. Now hurry into the kitchen. Kaen made breakfast."

Grumbling some choice curses under his breath, Tsuna stood up and dusted off his uniform, entering the kitchen behind Akito and sitting down to eat his breakfast of salmon and fried rice. Kaen stood behind the counter, stirring a pot of something. "Good morning, Kaen-nii."

"Morning, Tsuna. Get to school in five minutes," he replied tersely, not taking his eyes off of the pot. "Or I'll burn you at the stake."

"C'mon Kaen, he has at least ten minutes to spare…if he decides to sprint the whole way," Akito-nii said snidely. Tsuna paled at the implications. "By the way, I got a flyer in the mail for a home tutor for you today." Simultaneously, Kaen and Tsuna did identical spit-takes.

"Excuse me? Don't tell me that you accepted!" he said panickedly.

"I did. Keep up the pretense, right?" Akito-nii answered placidly. "Don't worry; all we have to do is give him free room and board and he'll tutor you."

"But what if they figure out my gender?"

"Then the police will have another mysterious homicide case to solve," with that a flyer was shoved in Tsuna's face.

""Will raise your kid to a leader of the new generation. Grade and subject doesn't matter. Reborn," he read with a frown, "It sounds like a scam. Are you sure about this nii-san?"

"Ciaossu," a high, squeaky voice said. "I'm here three hours earlier, but since I'm here I'll just evaluate you right now."

Blink. Blink.

"Kaen, I could've sworn I heard a little brat talking. Is it just my imagination?" Akito said with a frown chewing another bite of egg.

Tsuna just kept on eating, "Akito-nii, it was probably your imaginati- ouch!" All of a sudden, he slipped off his chair, dodging the kick that the squeaky-voiced person threw at him.

Kaen rubbed his eyes and reached for the knife. "I think I'm seeing a fedora-and-suit-wearing baby."

"My name is Reborn. I'm the home tutor," said fedora-and-suit-wearing baby introduced. All three members of the household stared at Reborn and shrugged, completely ignoring the fact that there was a talking toddler that was wearing a fedora and a suit toting a suitcase and a chameleon on his shoulder.

"Shit happens," Akito said, "So what the hell happened to you that make you look like a little squeaky baby that I really want to throttle to death?"

"A curse."

Silence.

"Akito-nii, Kaen-nii, I'm going to school now, bye!" Tsuna exclaimed, finishing his breakfast and dropping the dish in the sink. He grabbed his bag and hightailed it out of the house, not wanting to deal with a baby's corpse first thing in the morning. Akito-nii and Kaen-nii were rather…creative with their death methods.

"What kind of home tutor is a baby, anyway?" he muttered, kicking a rock. The familiar sound of gun parts clicking into place caused him to trip right away, landing in front of the gate that contained the neighboring Chihuahua. "HIIIIIIE!" he screamed, running at twenty-five percent his full speed (about eight miles an hour, due to Akito-nii's training).

"No wonder you're called Dame-Tsuna. You're terrified of dogs, your testing average is 67.4%, and you are absolutely horrid at athletics. You have no friends, and you are wholly dependent on your father, Rokujou Akito," Reborn observed. Tsuna froze and a nonexistent camera panned upwards, showing an infant on his head.

"Hiiie! Where did you come from?" he shrieked. Reborn hopped down onto the ground and pointed a rifle at him. "I-I-is that a gun!"

"Of course it is a gun. IT's a Velletta 9206, to be specific," Reborn explained smugly.

"No, it's a Velletta 9204," Tsuna corrected automatically, years of gun-identification lessons activating, "The Velletta 92 rifle series all are different by barrel lengths and rifling. The 9204 is the only one with alternating straight and counterclockwise ridges on the inside of a 67 centimeter long barrel. The 9206 has clockwise ridges with an 80 centimeter barrel."

Reborn stared at him incredulously as Tsuna realized his mistake. However, before Reborn could question him, Tsuna was saved by the appearance of his classmate Sasagawa Kyoko rounding the corner and spotting the two of them. "Good morning Tsuna-kun!" she greeted cheerily, "Who's the baby?"

"I'm Reborn," Reborn said in a no-nonsense manner.

"Why are you wearing a suit?"

"Because I'm in the Mafia."

"Ahahaha! How cute! Tsuna-kun, is he your little brother?"

Tsuna shook his head adamantly before picking up Reborn and starting off towards the school. _Better keep him with me so I can contain what he sees and control his first impressions._

"He's just one of Akito-nii's acquaintances' kids. We have to take care of him for a bit," Tsuna explained jokingly. Of course, being the naïve girl she was, Kyoko believed him right away. "So what's going on today, Kyoko-chan? You look a little nervous," he said observantly. Kyoko giggled a bit, but there was a grimace on her face.

"Ah, er…Mochida- senpai wanted to talk to me afterschool and I'm not sure whether I should go or not," she stammered. "He's just an acquaintance to me."

_Sigh. Kyoko-chan, you have no idea the effect you have on normal guys. _"Well, if he's just an acquaintance, then go ahead and talk to him. He wouldn't dare do anything to you," Tsuna suggested reluctantly.

The school gates came in sight and Tsuna's eyes widened at seeing the prefect, AKA his "friend", Hibari Kyouya, in front of said gates and glaring around. _Crap…no, I don't want to spar today! _Kyoko, seeing his expression change, glanced at where Hibari stood and bowed politely before hurrying off. "Bye Tsuna!"

_Shit. Kyoko, you just gave away my position! _He freaked out. _I can't let Reborn figure out my fighting skills! I already messed up by correcting him on the rifle, and if I slip up one more time Akito-nii will magically find out and use me for target practice! _

"Omnivore. There you are," Hibari snarled in his usual way, brandishing a tonfa menacingly.

"Hiiiiie! Don't kill me today Hibari-san!" the boy screamed, dashing past the prefect and streaking towards the doors. Hibari blinked in slight confusion, a tonfa-equipped hand pointing at where the omnivore had just been.

_That's odd. The omnivore usually exchanges a few blows with me until right before the bell rings. _He mused. _Why did he put up that farce again?_

_Either way, I'm going to bite him to death for skipping our morning spar and daring to ignore me._

The moment Tsuna reached his classroom 1-A, Reborn leapt away from his grasp right the moment he opened the door and landed smack on his face. "Ow!"

"Haha! It's Dame-Tsuna! No matter what he does, he'll never improve!" one classmate laughed.

"He trips over the doorway at least 2 times a week!" Another person commented.

_Oh shut up. I trip only because Akito-nii told me to. _He thought disdainfully, letting only a flash of irritation cross his face. "Ahaha, I guess I'm pretty clumsy," he fake-muttered.

Tsuna heaved a sigh and walked over to his seat with reluctance. _Another day, another scene full of annoyances I'm not allowed to send to the hospital… Hibari is rubbing off on me too much. _

Homeroom started, the teacher talked, and Tsuna sat there contemplating everything that he would have to change or hide in order for his "tutor" to not figure out his or Akito-nii's identity. Or Kaen-nii's for that matter. Time passed, and the bell rung. He had been lucky – no, more accurately, the teacher had been lucky to not bother him that morning. Akito-nii would have been forced to take care of the corpse or hospital bills and bribery. And then his training would be doubled.

"Tsuna, you look more out of it today than you usually do," his friend Kurokawa Hana said aloud during the morning break. "What happened? Did your dad get a girlfriend or something?"

The brunette gasped and choked on the water he had been drinking, coughing several times at the mere _concept_ of his dad having a girlfriend. Kaen would definitely blow her up before she could even hug Akito. "Are you kidding me, Hana? Nii-san would rather come to Parent Day than get a girlfriend, and that's saying something!"

"Nice to see that you're laughing again. But speak up and tell me what's wrong," she demanded. Tsuna flopped over his desk and heaved a sigh. "Okay, now I know something's wrong."

"Akito-nii hired a tutor today, and I can't let him know my abilities," Tsuna complained randomly.

"One moment…what the heck?"

"Mochida asked to see Kyoko-chan after school today."

"Ah. Nice way to let things slip, by the way. It makes you look stupider," Hana commented, whipping out her cell phone. Tsuna clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and slumped in his seat, knowing that he had already said the magic words. "Shoot. My cell phone's dead. Can you take care of it? And I have to leave in the middle of third period for a doctor's appointment, so I won't be able to do much damage."

Tsuna's jaw dropped open. "Are you kidding me? Please? I can't be caught! Akito-nii will murder me!"

"Just help Kyoko out. And don't forget that you have to do a project with her and turn it in tomorrow. You know, the research paper on how imaginary numbers can be applied in real-life situations?" Tsuna turned as white as a sheet and gasped, dashing out of the room frantically with wide eyes. Hana smirked smugly.

"Haha, from what I know about that stupid monkey-brain-Mochida's habits, he confesses to his targets at break, tries again at lunch, and then by the end of the day is seen holding hands with them on the way home. But this time…heh, he'll be successfully foiled and I'll be able to see Tsuna get rid of that stupid façade he's forced to wear," she snickered quietly

For all his friends at school knew, Rokujou Akito was a jerkass with the heart of a jerk: he ordered Tsuna around, never showed up to Parent Day or Parent-Teacher conferences, and was hard and overbearing on Tsuna. The first time Hana and Kyoko had met him, it had resulted with Tsuna being taken out of the room and several thuds to resound throughout the house. A few minutes later, her friend had walked back in with a grim expression and looking a bit battered. The man kept Tsuna from having friends and would glare at her and Kyoko whenever they came by, and loathed little children. When questioned why he didn't want to run away, Tsuna would answer, "Akito-nii means best for me."

_Rokujou Akito…you are such an overprotective idiot._ Hana grumbled as she gathered up her belongings.

Tsuna dashed around the school hurriedly, looking for his friend_. Our grade is screwed if she doesn't come over and finish the paper with me today! _He panicked, poking his head around corners and asking random people if they had seen Kyoko. Most of them shook their heads, others glared at him for asking where the school's idol was, but one girl helpfully remembered that she had sighted Mochida dragging Kyoko somewhere, and it had been near their committee room. Accordingly, Tsuna scurried away, but not before spluttering a, "Thank you!" and bowing.

When the committee's room came in view, Tsuna screeched around a corner and "tripped" as usual to keep up the pretense. However, his head came in contact with something very soft as he fell on top of his friend. "Ow, geez – hiie!"

"Ouch, Tsuna, please be a bit more careful," Kyoko said with some embarrassment. Somehow, he had landed on her with his legs over her waist, and his upper body sprawled out on the cold tiles. Flustered, Tsuna shot up and apologized several times, "Tsuna, it's okay!"

"I'm sorry, again. Anyway, Kyoko-chan, can you come home with me today so we can work on the research paper for math class?" he replied rapidly. Before she could answer however, the bell signaling the end of the break rung, and he held out a hand to help up Kyoko.

That moment, a larger hand swatted his away and Tsuna felt the sensation of someone grabbing him by the collar and shoving his back against the wall. Without thinking, Tsuna's hands shot out and grabbed the attacker's arm. A sickening pop was heard as he forcefully dislocated the offending elbow from its joint, and Mochida fell to the floor screaming in pain as Tsuna slumped down and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the black spots that had appeared in his vision. "You useless bastard!" the older teen roared.

"Tsuna! Are you okay?" Kyoko yelled, "Mochida-senpai, why did you do that? He was helping me!" As his vision cleared Tsuna realized that his attacker had been no one other than Mochida Kensuke, and his dame-façade suddenly disappeared as he lashed out with an arm and grabbed the other boy's collar.

"What was that for?" he hissed, leaking killer intent. When Mochida did not reply due to being terrified out of his wits, Tsuna dropped him like a sack of potatoes and pulled Kyoko up. "I'd like to warn you. Don't you dare pull a stunt like that on me again. Akito-nii will be furious if he has to dispose of your body." With those ominous words, Tsuna and his friend left, headed towards classroom 1-A as other students came to help Mochida.

When his courage was regained, the idiot yelled, "Dame-Tsuna, that was just a lucky fluke! I challenge you to a kendo match tomorrow after school in the gym! Kyoko Sasagawa is the prize!"

Kyoko took a step back as Tsuna turned around, his eyes an eerie orange color as he glared at Mochida. "Challenge accepted. Prepare to suffer defeat. And newsflash, imbecile: Kyoko is a human, not a pet."

Reborn watched through his Leon-binoculars with interest. His dame-student was proving very interesting. If anything, Tsuna was going to make a formidable Mafia boss if he had this kind of potential under that useless personality. _Heck, I might not even have to use a Dying-Will Bullet on him._

Back in class, Tsuna grimaced. _Darn it, I shouldn't have let him get to me. I bet Reborn saw that, and he's starting to second-guess the records now. I need a way to fake Reborn out- oh, bingo! Hibari owes me a few favors anyways._

* * *

"_Tsuna, this place we are headed to is generally known as a school. Specifically, it is a type of school called a primary school, and it teaches children from ages 4 to 12. Here, children are taught basics of all general subjects, how to behave properly, and interaction skills. You, since you are now 8, will be in the second year. All you'll need to display knowledge of is minor multiplication and division, rudimentary English, how to write hiragana* and basic science and history. The fun stuff begins in the first year of middle school. Do not attract any attention," Akito informed Tsuna, who was clutching his father's hand with excitement and nervousness. It was Tsuna's very first day of school, and Akito was walking him to Namimori Elementary, about a ten-minute walk from their home. Tsuna was bust looking around everywhere, taking in his surroundings, analyzing all possible escape routes if someone should attack him here, and committing the data to his mental map of Namimori Town like a good hitman should. _

"_Hai, hai, Akito-ni. Will you or Kaen-nii be walking me home today?" Tsuna asked. Akito shook his head, a slightly sadistic smirk gracing his lips._

"_No, I'm going to be gone for two weeks. My flight is at 10:30 tomorrow, and so you'll be going home alone. Kaen will be taking care of you in the meantime. On your way home, I expect you to look for all possible routes between school and home that take twenty minutes or less. I'll be leaving tomorrow, so I'll be busy packing today," he answered brusquely. A predatory expression crossed his face for a moment and Tsuna correctly guessed that his brother was going to kill someone. "I got an assassination job. Some stupid Mafia Don that specializes in keeping the human trafficking market full of "goods"."_

"_Kill him slowly, please," his charge muttered as they turned a corner and the elementary school came in view, "and give him a few extra stabs for me." Akito rolled his eyes and gently knocked Tsuna on the head. "Ow! Hey, aren't I allowed to hate human traffickers?"_

_His brother frowned, trying to mask his laughter, "Don't talk like that in front of other people, alright? You're not supposed to talk like an eighteen year old teen that just had a relative kidnapped by the black market." Akito chuckled, earning a glance from other passing-by parents._

"_Well, Akito-nii can blame himself for teaching me all these things," Tsuna retorted, sticking out his tongue childishly. "When will you be coming back?" he added as they entered the school gates._

"_About 2 weeks from now."_

_Namimori Elementary School was composed of several different building composed of buildings connected by covered walkways. They were all made of concrete and each building was decorated differently, denoting the grades that were taught there. The kindergarten area had a four-foot-high white picket fence around the perimeter, and the walls were covered with crudely drawn flowers, birds, butterflies, and other organisms. The first year building was similarly decorated, and also had a similar picket fence. The second year building which Tsuna and Akito were headed to was odd in the fact that the roof was slanted at a 30 degree angle to the ground, with one edge just 2 meters above the ground and the higher edge was at least 5 meters up. Tsuna promptly deemed it a good place to practice parkour. It was painted a garish blue that made the duo share similar expressions of disgust. _

_Behind those three Tsuna could only catch a glimpse of the third to sixth year buildings. However, his thoughts were immediately dismissed as he and Akito-nii entered the second-year building and the man bowed to the woman who was to be his "teacher". Tsuna bowed as well, albeit clumsily, and said in a high-pitched, childish voice, "Ohayou^, sensei."_

_The teacher smiled kindly and showed Tsuna to a desk before asking Akito-nii if Tsuna had any special needs after being home-schooled and in an isolated environment for so long. Akito-nii grimaced before commenting on Tsuna's extreme clumsiness while his eyes darted around._

_One of Akito-nii's pet peeves was being surrounded, and another was children and little kids in general. Thus, the stares that other parents were sending Tsuna's big-brother-figure/father were irritating him to no end. One daring child tugged on Akito-nii's long hair in curiosity and promptly burst into tears at the fearsome glare. In return, Akito received several patronizing glares from the other adults in the room, and he wisely left before his temper snapped._

_The first day passed by dully as Tsuna found himself forced to do several meaningless activities the "teacher" declared for them to do. Out of pure courtesy, the child obeyed, but in all truth the woman would never be his real teacher. That was Akito-nii and Kaen-nii's position, and the child would never let anyone else usurp those positions, much less a woman who simply smiled, handed out worksheets, and taught virtually nothing worth learning. Akito-nii could teach all these subjects in a day, and here she was, dawdling around, taking too long to explain, and treating him and the other kids like people who knew nothing! It was demeaning and infuriating._

_His inner scowl grew even more during break, during which Tsuna was bombarded with questions from the other children about himself. Then after break came meaningless "pre-tests" to gauge his previous education, and the boy found himself on the verge of despairing at the questions on the "pre-tests". They were so ridiculously easy Tsuna nearly cried at having to answer the majority of them wrong so he could start up his "dame" reputation_. Darnit, Akito-nii! Why must I suffer like this!_ He seethed as he shuffled outside to the second-year's playground. As instructed by Akito, Tsuna tripped right the moment his foot made contact with the door and appeared to fall on his face. His hands shot out and smacked the ground, giving the appearance of a rather painful faceplant while in reality Tsuna was holding his body up, his nose a mere millimeter from the ground. Think of a push-up, only one with your face a millimeter from the ground and your arms and hands flat._

_Of course, the kids nearby jeered harshly in laughter at Tsuna's fall, but he didn't mind. Akito-nii was always right, and Akito-nii had told him to fall, so the act of clumsiness and being made fun of was automatically ignored without a second thought. One girl, who wasn't laughing, looked around in confusion at her playmates and scurried to him._

"_Are you okay?" she asked gently, holding out a hand. Tsuna turned away from the ground to see a sunny-faced, bright-eyed girl who had odd burnt orange hair that fell to her shoulders. _

"_I'm fine, Sasagawa-san," Tsuna replied with a hint of fake pain in his voce, maneuvering his body to a sitting position. From what he recalled of the introduction activities earlier, the girl was Sasagawa Kyoko, age 8, and she was widely popular with the other kids. _

"_Erm, Sawada-san, just call me Kyoko! It's too formal!" she said, grasping Tsuna's hand to help tug him up. It was at that moment that another girl walked up, this one with black eyes and dark wavy hair that touched her waist. The way she carried herself suggested self-confidence and disdain for others. According to her introduction earlier, this was Kurokawa Hana._

"_Kyoko, who is this?" she asked curiously, pointing at Tsuna._

_Tsuna stood up and brushed dust from his shirt, then nodded politely, "I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi. I'm in Akita-sensei's class with you guys."_

"_Oh! You're the kid with the mean…dad. Was that your dad that made Adachi-san cry? Because I couldn't tell if he was a man or a woman," Kurokawa questioned. Tsuna sighed mentally before putting on his embarrassed mask._

"_That was Akito-nii. He's my adopted dad, but he's more like an older brother to me, so I call him nii-san," Tsuna answered, then quickly added, "He hates it when anyone touches his hair."_

"_Adopted? So he's not your real daddy?" Sasagawa asked in interest. By now, more kids were listening in, wanting to hear more about Tsuna's unusual circumstances. He nodded, grimacing mentally at all the attention._

"_Yeah. My mommy and daddy…" here Tsuna added a sniffle for good measure, "got killed when I was five. They died because of poison, and then I went to live with Akito-nii. He knew my dad."_

Kuso~. I am so dead. _He grumbled. _Akito-nii expressly told me not to attract attention, but now I'm in a crowd. _Glancing around at the other children, Tsuna noted that his five-second sob story had caused waves of sympathy and pity, making him bristle with irritation. _I'm sorry, Sasagawa-san, but I'll need to use you to get rid of the attention. _He internally apologized in advance._

"_I'm sorry about your mommy and daddy," she said awkwardly, unsure of how to reply. She stuck out her hand as a gesture of friendship and Tsuna mentally apologized again, taking her hand and…_

…_he slipped again, this time bringing down Sasagawa with him. They fell on the concrete, hard, and Tsuna was pretty sure that she had scraped a knee. At that moment, his desired response came from the other students as they began to loudly berate him for his "clumsiness"._

"_I-I'm really Sasagawa-san!" he shrieked, scrambling up. The other children grew louder as they saw that her knee was bleeding and Tsuna was for some mysterious reason, completely unscathed. _That should do the trick. They'll avoid and ignore me now.

"_Clumsy idiot!" _Expected response.

"_Useless fool!" _Another expected response.

"_Guys, stop it! He didn't mean to! It was an accident!" _Expected resp- eh?_ "That's not nice!" Sasagawa reprimanded the crowd._

What? But…isn't she supposed to be mad at me? _Tsuna thought in bewilderment. Sasagawa looked down at him with a gentle smile, holding out her hand yet again._

"_You are pretty clumsy. Do you want to be friends?"_

Mission averted, friend acquired. _The boy realized resignedly. _Akito-nii is going to _murder _me.

_As Tsuna headed home afterschool he made sure to take his time in examining all possible paths. So far he had found 19 of them, and some of them utilized leaping on roofs._

_The boy landed in an alleyway between an apartment complex and a sushi shop after looking around to make sure no one was watching. From what he had seen, the house was approximately 3 minutes away, and now he was ready to get there, sweaty and tired from all the movement. He stepped into the sunlight and stared out at the street, analyzing the surrounding buildngs with a critical eye. However, in his concentration, he let his guard down and a man leaning on a nearby car cocked a gun towards Tsuna's head._

_Recognizing the sound immediately, the child backflipped back into the alley, landing on the ground with his hands in the Snake fist and his body low to the ground. The assassin rounded the corner and shot three times, but none of the hit him. Instead, Tsuna leapt with a powerful jump, about ten feet up, and the bullets riocheted off the cement and harmlessly embedded themselves into nearby objects like a trashcan. _

_Eyeing his assailant's weapon, Tsuna observed the gun and promptly identified it as a 9x19 Walther P99, and there was a silencer equipped to it. The marks on the concrete indicated that there were full-metal jacketed bullets. The boy smirked, still clinging to the crevices in the sushi shop next to him. _Easy. Too easy. _He gloated, turning his body sideways and dashing on the wall, then jumping off and rebounded on the other wall across the alley and aimed towards the assassin._

I thought I was just supposed to kidnap some 8-year-old brat! _The assassin thought in horror, aiming his gun at the said brat and pulling the trigger twice. Tsuna's eyes narrowed and he somehow halted his momentum in mid-air and landed back on the ground, then charged the man and used a Tiger Claw palmstrike directly to his knee, effectively dislocating the joint. The man dropped his gun and collapsed to the ground, grinding his teeth in an effort to not scream because of the pain. "Fuck!"_

_"Fool," Tsuna said in a cold voice, making the man look up and his pupils dilate in terror. "You dared to try to kill the protege of the Assassin with 49 Names. Be happy that Akito-nii told me not to kill anyone, or you would have died the moment you aimed that pathitec handgun."_

_"The Assassin with 49 Names?" the man shrieked in horror. "What- but- they lied to me!" Eyes narrowing, Tsuna turned on his glare to full power._

_"Who is your employers?" he hissed. His victim gulped and started trembling, "Answer before my brother has to clean up your corpse!"_

_"T-t-th-the Vancicora! They told me to kidnap the orphaned Vongola brat!" _

_"Hn. Tell your employers that the next man they send will be a dead man the moment he steps over the city limits," the child growled, turning away and re-shouldering his backpack. _

Show no mercy, you fool! _A voice yelled in his mind as Tsuna looked back at the hitman with horror and the man aimed a second gun towards his chest. Tsuna had no time to react._

_"Baka-deshi!" A familiar voice roared that moment as a flash of black appeared and Akito-nii came out of it, his hand forming a Tiger Claw as he struck the bullets in mid-air. There was complete silence as both of the metal clattered to the ground with lost momentum._

_"!" the man screamed, attracting other passerbys. He staggered to his feet, grimacing at the pain from his dislocated knee, and attempted to stagger out and escape._

_"You dared to touch my son..." Akito snarled, his usually handsome face twisting into a frightening expression. The man blanched and Tsuna grimaced at the wet stain that had appeared in his pants. _Akito-nii is so scary that the guy wet himself...

_In a flash, the enraged Akito appeared to disappear, materializing in front of the escapee and kicking the man's temple right where the right temporal artery was. _Instant death.

_"Tsuna, are you okay?" Akito-nii asked concernedly, suddenly right in front of the boy. Tsuna blinked several times, feeling his eyes start to water. "Tsuna? Hey- wait, don't cry...aw shit, he's crying."_

_"Onii-san!" Tsuna wailed, launching himself into the older man's arms. "I'm sorry I went easy on him! I'm sorry that I let my guard down twice when you told me to always be cautious! I'm sorry for drawing attention to myself at school today! Waaaaaaaaaah!"_

_Akito grimaced and hugged his sobbing son, patting Tsuna's back with one hand and using the other to manipulate his phone and pressed speed-dial for Kaen. "Hi Akito, wha- hey, is Tsuna crying?"_

_"Yes. He is. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"_

_On the other side of the line, Kaen held back a laugh. "Akito...take him home and hold him and pat his head and be nice to him. Then tell him it's okay. Geesh, I haven't seen you this flustered ever since I proposed to you!"_

_"Oi! Shut up! and come to the alleyway near TakeSushi and dispose of the body here. I'm taking Tsuna home!" with that, a red-in-the-face Akito snapped his phone shut and nudged Tsuna. "Get on my back."_

_"Eh?"_

_"I said get on my back. Now," he commanded wearily, turning around so Tsuna was facing his back. The little boy stared at him with big, teary, watery eyes that Akito deemed a dangerous weapon. "Now!"_

_"Okay!" Tsuna sniffled, clambering onto his back and continuing to wet his brother's shirt with tears, completely unaware as Akito walked into something black and they were abruptly in his bedroom. Still grimacing nervously, the man set him down on his orange duvet and proceeded to lower his hand onto the brown hair that spiked everywhere. Tsuna stopped crying in shock at the sudden display of parental affection. _

_"Ummm...it's okay, Tsuna. I'm not mad at you. I just hope that you learned a lesson today..." Akito stammered, patting Tsuna's head gingerly and looking away. If one looked closely, there was a faint tint of red on his cheeks. Tsuna looked up at the man innocently, tear-streaks visible on his cheeks. _

_"Akito-nii?" he asked softly, staring at his father with wide eyes. _

_"Yes?" Akito grunted. _

_"Is that going to happen to me a lot?" Akito bit his lip and Tsuna felt nervous. _I would have died today if Akito-nii hadn't appeared in time...

_The black-haired man sighed, "Tsuna, this is one of the main reasons I've been teaching you combat. Always be on guard. Believe it or not, I do care whether you are alive or you're dead. I can't protect you twenty-four seven." _

_Tsuna teared up again, "Akito-nii, why me? Why are they after me?"_

_"The same reason why they were after your parents. And I can't tell you that stuff until you're older," this set off Tsuna's waterworks again. "Shit...please don't cry..." When the tears continued to flow, Akito sighed. "I give up."_

_Gently, he pulled Tsuna into a hug, making him stiffen in surprise, and lifted up the blanket and crawled into bed with his son._

_When Kaen came a few hours later to check up on the duo, he smirked and couldn't help but take a few pictures of the man holding his son for future blackmail. _Awww, look at the guy who said that he hates little kids holding his son to sleep. _He mentally grinned._

* * *

_Dear Future Self,_

_Today was my first day of school. I made my first friend, Sasagawa Kyoko. She is very nice, but incredibly naive, even for her age. I think we will get along well. _

_Today, an assassin attacked me and almost succeeded because I stupidly let my guard down twice. Akito-nii saved me. _

_Akito-nii is actually a good person. He acts mean to me, but when I needed him, he showed up. He didn't yell at me for getting hurt and letting my guard down, and he helped bandage me even though he said he wouldn't bandage me after I turned eight. He was really worried even though he didn't show it much, and he hugged me for the first time. I think Kaen-nii told him to, though. I wish Kaen-nii would live with Akito-nii and I, because then we'd be like a family, although I'd have two daddies. But Kaen-nii said that if he married Akito-nii, Akito-nii would be my mommy. And then Akito-nii whacked his head really hard with the frying pan._

_I love Akito-nii and Kaen-nii. They're my daddies, even when they say that they're just my teachers._

_Akito-nii is going to whack me if he finds out I'm attached to them even though he told me not to get attached. ('-_-)_

_April 12th, 2005_

* * *

_As the boy drifted to sleep, a figure perched on a neighboring roof narrowed his eyes. Hibari Kyouya stared at the strange herbivore with unbridled curiosity. He had witnessed the herbivore's one-sided beat-up of the man that had attempted to shoot him. However, during school the herbivore had been abysmally clumsy and had demonstrated utter lack of body control. Except the fight proved otherwise and Hibari was most definitely interested. The herbivore was surely abnormal. Maybe it was the influence of the two carnivores that were often there. _

_The black-haired boy smirked. His curiosity had been piqued and nothing would stop him from the truth. All obstacles would be bitten to death._

* * *

__Dear Future Self,

Today... I got a tutor. And it's not any tutor, it's a baby. A baby. An infant that wears a fedora and a suit and totes around Velleta 9204 rifles. The heck, Akito-nii? I mean...c'mon, didn't you tell me to be careful in not revealing my secrets? You're making it hard for me, you know!

Also, it turns out that Mochida the Fool does not see Kyoko as a human being. It makes me want to stab him with the pencil I'm holding right now. Because really, Kyoko was my first friend and she's a human. Humans shouldn't be treated like possessions. (Human traffickers, that was totally aimed at YOU) so I accidentally slipped my facade. Akito-nii hasn't found out yet, but I think Reborn saw it. I hope that it slips his mind later.

Something's up. Akito-nii recognized Reborn. I could feel it. Good ol' intuition. Oh yeah, I accidentally let Reborn find out about my guns-identification training. Akito-nii's going to give me hell with that one. At dinner today (spaghetti and meatballs courtesy Kaen-nii) Reborn asked me how I knew the difference between the Velleta 9204 and the 9206. Akito-nii saved me by slamming the gun encyclopedia in front of Reborn and saying that he forced me to read it at punishment.

Hmmm...I also managed to tick off Kyoya today. Eheh, I faked out of our daily spar. He's going to be mad tomorrow; I can feel it. Damn Reborn's fault. I hate that facade, but I understand that it's necessary.

But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

September 27th, 2011

* * *

Tsuna closed the worn notebook with a sigh, slipping it into his secret compartment in his "Book of Fairy Tales" that Kaen had given him so long ago. It was a good thing that he did so, because his neck hairs prickled and he swiveled in his chair to face to window, where Reborn stood. "Hiiie! Reborn!" he shrieked.

"Don't shriek like that. Mafia bosses do not shriek like little girls," the baby chided, using the butt of his rifle to smack Tsuna's head, eliciting and 'Ow!' from the boy.

"Why are you here anyway?" Tsuna snapped, rubbing his head with a grimace. Reborn whipped out three photos and a sheet of paper from his suitcase - _one second, that's where he stored his gun earlier! Is that a hammerspace or something! - _and sat down on Tsuna's desk.

"My real job is to teach you to be a Mafia boss," the tiny hitman claimed. Tsuna blinked several times, then facepalmed.

"That's fantastic, little guy. Now why exactly is a Japanese kid being asked to become the boss of an Italian Mafia family? I'm Japanese, for heaven sakes!"

At this the paper was shoved in his face. "Primo, the first boss of the Vongola family, retired early and moved to Japan. You're one of his descendants."

"And...doesn't the current guy have any kids?"

"They're dead. The first got killed in a duel, the second was drowned, and the third...is nothing but bones at the moment," Reborn replied, flashing the photos of the corpses as he spoke. Tsuna turned a pale green.

"You, Sawada Tsunayoshi, are to become the 10th head of the Vongola Famiglia. Vongola Decimo."

_One second. I'm a girl that's crossdressing as a guy and receiving training from the 2nd best assassin in the world to kill the Mafia family that killed my parents, the Vittrovere, and now I'm supposed to become the boss of one of the strongest Mafia families in the world?_

__"!"

* * *

**Exile: Sorry, Tsuna. It's all worth it in the end, though!**

**COMSUBIN - It's what Colonello and Lal was a part of before they become Arcobaleno, remember? Look it up on KHR wiki!**

**"Baka-deshi" - "idiot pupil". I credit that line to General Cross Marian of DGM**

**Hiragana- the most basic alphabet of the Japanese language. There's Hiragana, Katakana, and Kanji**

**Ohayou - Good morning.**

**By the way, Tsuna refers to Akito as both his father and brother.**

**Reviews = encouragement.**


	3. Of Keys and Hibari Kyoya

**Exile: Hallo! And thank you for the reviews, faves, and the alerts! I always grin at seeing emails from FFNET about this story. **

**By the way, if you guys don't especially like OCs, I'll tell you right now that there are about fourteen OCs that will actually play somewhat of a significant role in the story. You already know Akito and Kaen, but this chapter...you meet their (biological) son :D**

**Also, warning: confusing chapter. Lot's of hints, clues, and foreshadowing.**

* * *

"_Tsuna, I want you to go outside and don't come back until you make a friend."_

"_Hah? But I already have Kyoko-san and Hana-san!" _

"_You heard me. Get out. Here's a bento box and a jacket," the items were tossed at Tsuna's face, "and don't get killed."_

"_W-W-What? Akito-nii, it's only 8 PM!" the child protested loudly._

"_Should I care?" his guardian said in a bored tone. The scary thing was Akito was evidently completely serious about the question._

"_You should!" _

"_Well I don't. So get out before I shoot you." Seeing the glint in his guardian's eyes, Tsuna 'eeped' and fled out the door, running into the darkness._

_Presently, he found himself outside of the park's playground. With a sigh, Tsuna trod over to the slide and ducked under it for temporary shelter. The main play structure was directly above him, and Tsuna looked around in the dim light, possibilities for the spot unfolding like blueprints in his mind. Cracking his knuckles, Tsuna decided that making a friend could be done later. Setting up a basecamp was first priority._

_The next morning, one Hibari Kyoya, age 10, was infuriated. In the night, while he had been busy doing carnivorous this like eating dinner and beating up weaklings, someone had the nerve to break in the Namimori Electronics Depot, which contained virtually everything from wires to plasma screens, and had taken roughly three hundred thousand Yen worth of items. How the person got in and out was a complete mystery. The tapes only showed a peaceful night, with the night watchman walking by on his prescribed route. Thus, Hibari felt irritated. Not only was there a person in the town that was able to pull off something on such a grand scale in one night, but they were able to fool the police and all the night watchmen. At the moment he was busy leaping across the low roofs of Namimori houses in search of any trace of the perpetrator. His eyes narrowed mid-leap as he caught a bright glint of metal in the middle of Namimori Forest._

"…"

"_So what do you think, Kaen-nii? Can you help me?" the redhead was asked. Kaen didn't answer immediately as he was too busy gawking at the immense pile of electronics and metal in a clearing in the middle of the forest. _

"_What- when- how the hell…" the man stammered. "Tsuna, how in the seven hells did you _get _all of this?" _

_Tsuna looked up at him innocently, a roll of blue paper in his right hand while he appeared to have not heard the question at all. "Kaen-nii, Akito-nii is my daddy."_

"_Oh. Right. Geez, that guy…you take out your first assassin 3 weeks ago, and now you pull off the biggest robbery in Namimori? Tsuna…I really don't want to know what else Akito has taught you…"_

"_Akito-nii taught me that the fastest way to move dirt was to use Kaen-nii's explosives!"_

_Silence._

"_I knew you'd say that…give me those blueprints again, please."_

* * *

Lesson Two- Of Keys and Hibari Kyoya

If one was able to observe the Head of the Disciplinary in a way that he would not get annoyed and bite the observer to death, they would realize that the fearsome Hibari Kyoya wore a metal bracelet. It wasn't an ordinary I-bought-this-at-the-store or A-relative-gave-this-to-me bracelet. It was a piece of slender steel chain, looped thrice around his wrist and some small spikes jutting from the metal. But it wasn't the chain, but rather the chain carried, that the teen treasured.

A key. A stainless steel key that was fifteen centimeters long and sharpened on the toothed edge, and held an odd tint of purple when it was held up in the light. Apparently, it too could be considered a weapon, as the prefect had been witnessed swinging the key and chain around to defeat an unusually large swarm of "herbivores" while his tonfas were also utilized. He had "bitten to death" a record of 63 delinquents in a mere 6 minutes, mostly because they had started fleeing after the third minute. No one knew what the key opened, but most simply declared it as another of Hibari's weapons, albeit it practically never came off his wrist and used.

All girls (and a few guys) that were acquainted with Sasagawa Kyoko and Kurokawa Hana knew that the two's hair decorations were precious to them. Kyoko's hairclip's had an unusually large key on top of it, and a similar key was pinned in Hana's hair as well. Both were dangerously jagged, but none saw any connection between their keys and the prefect's key. If anyone did, not a single word was ever uttered.

Every time before Yamamoto Takeshi batted or pitched during a serious baseball game, he would clutch the key on his steel-chain necklace. It was warped in some places, giving it an odd bluish tint, and many of the chain links looked like large raindrops rather than chains. One time, in order to sabotage Yamamoto, a rival team had stolen the necklace before a game. When the baseball player had found out, the other team was decimated with 0 to 80.

Messing with the necklace and key was akin to walking up to Rokujou Akito and pulling his hair.

When asked by people what said fifteen centimeter curved key was for, Yamamoto would simply offer his trademark goofy grin and answer, "It's for a special place." When interrogated further, he would lead the subject away or leave. So then fan speculation turned to what Yamamoto's "special place" was.

If anyone bothered to hang out with Dame-Tsuna for more than a week, they would notice that every time he flicked his left wrist a certain way, there would be a suspicious glimmer of metal. If Dame-Tsuna happened to pull up his sleeves or take off his sweater, further observation would reveal a sixteen centimeter key strapped to his wrist by means of a black leather wristband. Said key looked more like a serrated dagger than anything.

"Dame-Tsuna, what is that key for?" Reborn questioned. Tsuna shot him a dark look, _a little bit upset _that Reborn had used a pair of goddamned _defibrillators,_ of all things, to electrocute him awake! His heart could have stopped permanently, and then Akito-nii and Kaen-nii would (as they had explicitly threatened) go to the gates of hell and drag him back to the land of the living, and then thrash him black and blue for being so careless and getting killed. If he went to heaven, then Akito-nii would shoot him down and Kaen-nii would burn him alive, then yank him out of the fire last minute, heal his wounds, and repeat the process. Well, using the defibrillators wasn't as nearly as dangerous as Akito's old habit of tossing grenades into the room instead. The boy continued eating his rice impassively, even when Reborn aimed a handgun – _Colt M1911 _– at him.

He stood up unflinchingly, dropping his empty bowl in the sink, "What key?" Tsuna asked in a monotone voice, feigning a yawn to give off the impression that he was tired.

In a flash, Tsuna was knocked to the tiles by one of the baby's kicks, his left arm yanked backwards painfully and his valued key torn from his wrist. "This key," Reborn snapped, dangling the piece of metal in Tsuna's face, "is made of pure platinum, has unreasonably sharp edge for a key, and happens to be suspiciously similar to the keys that five other people at your school wear. Explain. Now."

Tsuna, rather than shrieking like a girl as per his conditioned response and Reborn's first impression, rolled over, making Reborn leap from Tsuna's back in order to not get smashed into the tiles. At that moment, Akito entered the kitchen, leaning against the wall and yawning, "Baka-deshi, get your ass to school before something bad happens." Reborn mentally scowled as Tsuna escaped the house, and it was five full seconds later that he noticed that the "No-good Tsuna" had managed to steal back the key without him noticing, an impressive feat indeed. Not that he'd ever say. But other matters needed to be settled right now.

Jogging lightly towards Namimori Middle, Tsuna sneezed and a dark feeling of foreboding enveloped him. He was partly glad that Akito-nii had shown up in time to prevent anything nasty from happening, but partly fearful of the scene that he had left behind. _I swear I don't know who to be the most afraid of: Akito-nii or Reborn._

Back at the house, Kaen stepped into the kitchen and his aura darkened with rage at the scene in front of him. Reborn and his Akito were in the middle of a staredown, Akito having his favorite Glock G21 aimed at the number one hitman in the world, while said hitman had a CZ75 1ST pointed back, Bullet holes littered the walls, furniture, and various pieces of poor appliances. "Who are you?" Reborn snarled.

"Rokujou Akito." A trigger was pulled and Akito sidestepped, a bullet passing by where his forehead had been. "You're really trying to kill me, aren't you kid?"

"Iemitsu briefed me that he had a daughter named Sawada Tsunayuki, and that she had been left under the care of Kisari Rio, a former employee with short brown hair, two slash marks under his left eye, dark complexion, and a distinct Hokkaido accent. I see a boy named Sawada Tsunayoshi under the guardianship of Rokujou Akito, an unusually effeminate man with ridiculously long hair, no visible scars except the arms and legs, light skin, and no accent at all. Not to mention that you have a male lover, whereas Kisari Rio was a reputed playboy, flirt, and general Casanova. _Who are you and what happened to Sawada Tsunayuki and Kisari Rio?_"

Akito stayed silent, his eyes never leaving Reborn's. Kaen was the one to interrupt the standoff, "Who are you to interrogate us?" he growled, even though he already knew the answer.

"I am Reborn, the world's greatest hitman."

"I am Rokujou Akito, adopted father of an _abandoned _boy, Sawada Tsunayoshi," Akito said in a clear, monotone voice. Hearing that tone, carrying bad memories and misgivings, made something in Kaen break.

"I am Teritsukeru Kaen, surrogate father to Tsuna, and the one who took time to remodel, refurbish and buy all the appliances for this kitchen," Reborn and Akito stiffened as killer intent tinted the redhead's voice, "And I swear by the six hells that if this room isn't _sparkling_ _clean_ and _fixed_ by the time I buy a new oven and stove, I will _castrate_ both of you."

With that he left, fuming and the two assassins with grimaces on their faces, "Temporary truce," Akito proposed uneasily. Reborn hesitated before nodding once.

"Indeed. Never mess with a woman in her kitchen."

"Kaen's a guy."

"Well, assuming that you are the male in the relationship, then the line is applicable to him."

"…" _He's…right *sweatdrop*_

* * *

A tonfa-equipped hand punched the space where Tsuna's head had been a few nanoseconds ago, and the prefect glared venomously at him. "Omnivore. For neglecting your duties as member of the Disciplinary Committee, prepare to be bitten to death."

Tsuna rolled his eyes, flipping away expertly as he set down his bag. "Kyoya-san, we both know that my daily spar with you is not included in the duties of the Disciplinary Committee's secretary. I'm sorry about," here he ducked a potentially bone-breaking blow to his arm, "my skipping yesterday," sidestep the roundhouse kick, "but I really have a problem on my hands," his hands shot out, grabbing the prefect's wrist and flipping him to the ground.

"Omnivore, get off," Hibari ground out angrily. Instead of complying, Tsuna kept his hold on his hands, disarming him of his tonfa and pinning him to the ground with his legs.

"Not until you listen, Kyoya-san," Tsuna replied. Leaning closer to the prefect's face, "And you know very well that I have enough stamina to hold you down as long as I need to." _Is that my imagination is Kyoya-san's face a bit red? Meh, probably is just going to explode with rage._

"Fine. Speak."

"Thank you, Kyoya-san," Tsuna shifted his position so he was sitting on Hibari's stomach. _Much more comfortable. _"I have a home tutor now. He also in the Mafia, and he was sent here by Vongola Ninth to teach me to become a Mafia Don. I suspect that it has to do with Akito-nii, but seeing the way that they've been eyeing each other, I'd think it's safe to say that those two loathe each other. Thus, I cannot let the tutor know my true capabilities. If the Mafia finds out that Akito-nii has been raising me as an assassin, I don't want to think what would happen."

Hibari grimaced mentally at the implications. Last time that the Yakuza had managed to do something to Rokujou Akito, his omnivore had caused a bloodbath to such an extent that the long-haired carnivore had actually scolded him for the amount of dead bodies. Not a pleasant sight at all. "…So no more sparring?" Hibari grunted reluctantly.

"Just every once in a while. But please, just treat me like the other students. I don't want Reborn to become suspicious. Better yet, act like you don't know about me," Tsuna added, a pained expression flashing across his face for an instant. "It'll be the same with Takeshi, Kyoko, Hana, and Rei."

Hibari seethed a bit in his mind. He and the omnivore had been sparring partners for almost 8 years, and now he was asking for everyone to abandon him like a selfish brat that wanted to steal all the fun. (No, not really. That was just Hibari's skewed way of interpreting things so that he didn't bite his mind to death for feeling herbivorous emotions like worry.)

"Very well then, omnivore. As you wish. You owe me a full round and some modifications later to my tonfa," Hibari snarled. Tsuna released his grip on the Skylark's wrists, and backflipped off the prefect before he was thrown off. Hibari stood up with a scowl, retrieving his weapons and striding off the rooftop with a dramatic flair of his black gakuran.

The brunette that was behind him crumpled to the ground, his calm expression turning distraught. "Akito-nii, please forgive me. I don't want to be manipulated by others. I don't want to join the Mafia. I want to be able to do things that I've been restricted from. I want to shed this façade. I will change the Mafia into something better so then you can tell Kaen-nii that you do love him and take you can stop taking assassination jobs. You gave me a new reason to live, and I will take the opportunity that Reborn is dangling right in front of me to change things so you can have a new purpose, too."

With that, the teen decided that the next course of action would be to get through the school day and deal with the annoyance named Mochida. _I really feel like beating someone to a pulp today…_

* * *

Kyoko looked at the text she had just received from her friend with an unreadable expression. "Hana, did you see this?" she inquired her friend, flicking her cellphone screen to show the message.

Hana nodded. "I'm assuming Reborn is the little kid on Tsuna's head yesterday when he tripped into the room."

Kyoko bit her lip worriedly. "I wonder what else he has to say, though, if he's actually asking all of us to go to _that place_ afterschool, even though he knows _those two_ will fight right away…"

"He probably told Hibari face-to-face so then the monkeys don't destroy half the base again," Hana commented.

* * *

"Rei! There you are!" one Yamamoto Takeshi yelled cheerily across the field. "Want to go to the base with me afterschool? Because I know you don't have a phone and Tsuna just sent us a text."

The black-haired male scowled, as the cat that had been sleeping in his lap woke up and scampered away at Yamamoto's loud voice. "I'll go my own way. My little brother is probably going to arrive after all of us if the things I've been hearing about him and Mochida dueling is true."

"Maa, maa, Rei! Relax, you know Tsuna will be fine!" the baseball player said easily, making the other teen stand up suddenly.

"Who said I was worried, fool? I'm more worried about the repercussions that my father will give out if Dame-Tsuna attracts too much attention," he replied, standing up and sticking his hands in his pockets.

Yamamoto Takeshi was Namimori Middle School's male idol, Kyoko Sasagawa being the female idol. It was easy to see why, as he had a happy and cheerful nature and was highly talented in sports, especially baseball. He was rather tall for his age, and had cropped black hair and generic bright black eyes. However, every now and then, whenever Dame-Tsuna was being bullied, his eyes would narrow and people would swear it was like having an assassin in the room.

Kagami Rei, on the other hand, was a mysterious and solitary individual who long had the title of "The Left Hand of the Disciplinary Committee". He had red eyes (but looking at his eyes would make people realize that they were oddly…metallic) and black hair that slightly resembled a certain redhead's in the fact that it was spiked a bit on one side. No one at the school knew much about him, but there were a few well-known facts. One, he was able to spar with Hibari Kyoya on even footing. Two, he would beat up any unlucky individual that dared cross him. Three, him saying, "I'll break you to death." was a guarantee that you would shortly be knocked unconscious and wake up in a hospital with at least 2 broken bones. Four, he addressed the one and only Dame-Tsuna as his little brother for reasons unknown. Five, he had a metal loop on his right hand, and it was full of deadly keys, one of which was also oddly similar to five other students.

* * *

"_Kaen-nii, over here next!" Tsuna called, pointing to the set of stakes hammered in the ground. Sighing, the man took another handful of remote-controlled bombs from his trench coat and tossed them at Tsuna, who then placed all the bombs strategically before scampering away as they exploded with the push of a button. How in the world Kaen-nii had managed to hide their activities and soundproof the area was beyond the little child, but as long as his secret hideout was completed, no foul, right?_

_Hibari dashed through the trees, trying to find the source of that metal glint in the middle of the forest. There was something wrong with the air, something…fake. As much as he wanted to bite it to death for bothering him, he sadly couldn't bite at nothingness. _

_Another explosion rocked the clearing as Kaen and Tsuna leaned against a tree and ate some sandwiches Kaen had wisely brought with him. "So, kiddo, how are we supposed to set down the metal and build the whole thing?"_

"_Chains to lower the stuff. I also stole a bunch of screwdrivers, too."_

"_What about the electrical outlets?" _

"_I'll steal from the electric cables that run under this area. I stole a map of where that Namimori Electrics Company laid down their electric cables, and there's one here."_

"…_Akito, you bastard. You've tainted this kid!"_

_-Time skip-10 hours-_

_Hibari sat under an old, gnarled tree that slightly resembled a walking stick. The fake feeling from earlier had been persistent no matter where he went in the forest. It was like there was a mist shrouding his senses, and every now and then the woods would shudder, as if there were explosions occurring. A thought suddenly occurred to him. If he could bite the thief to death, he'd content himself with the source of the false feeling. Standing up again, the child dashed towards the center of the forest as the mist grew stronger._

"_Someone's coming. Hold them off," Kaen spoke in a strained voice as he manipulated his Mist constructs to move the metal pieces and the electronics. Others busied themselves with clearing out the dirt. He had been sustaining them for the past several hours while trying to work as efficiently as possible. The child next to him, containing dormant Sky Flames, was able to "recharge" his flames slowly, per say, and it was a good thing that Kaen himself had adequate Flames in his body or he'd have fainted long ago._

_Tsuna himself was snoring quietly on the ground, his nighttime exploit having tired out his body, and it didn't help that Tsuna had not slept for the past 32 hours. Kaen winced and gently nudged Tsuna with the back of his foot after placing everything down safely and deactivating his Mist Flame. He had only started after the child had fallen asleep, as Akito had sworn a week of hell if his son learned about flames too early in life. "H-Hai, Kaen-nii?"_

"_I said someone's coming. Go and hold them off while I finish this. If it's Akito…try to lure him away. I don't want to die before we get married," he instructed hastily, pointing in the direction that he felt disturbances in his Mist Area* and Tsuna yawned before toddling away in that direction. "Feel free to go berserk if you want! Just don't leave any corpses!"_

_A long-haired man trod softly into woods, making little to no sound as he walked further and further into the mist. Akito's eyes were narrowed slits as tried to use his senses to figure out where the fuck his precious son and Kaen were. The abnormal fog around him signaled Kaen's presence somewhere in a few miles' vicinity, but whether Tsuna was with him or not was another question. Akito stepped into a clearing, but then stepped back immediately as a smirk crept on his face at the sight in front of him and the sounds that filled the air._

_Hibari had managed to come closer to the source of the false feeling when all of a sudden, he had literally stumbled on a child. The Skylark's eyes widened as he recognized the strange herbivore from a few weeks ago. Opening his mouth to say something, he was interrupted as the not-herbivore charged and took him by surprise, sending him flying backwards into a tree. "I'm sorry, person, but Kaen-nii told me to hold you off," he said sleepily, dropping into a martial arts stance. _

_Hibari brandished his tonfa, but before he could make contact with the strange child, he found himself in a forceful chokehold. Grunting, he elbowed backwards, sending the brunette a few feet away. The boy landed on his feet and a moment later, the fighters rushed each other, exchanging blow for blow. _

_They continued this for a few minutes until Tsuna flinched and rolled backwards, shooting the bushes a horrified look as Hibari recognized the long-haired carnivore standing there and smirking widely. "Carnivore."_

"_Ara ara, Tsunayoshi, there you are…" he said in a cunning voice, ignoring Hibari as he stalked towards the 8-year-old that was trembling in fear, "Why are you not doing what I told you to?"_

_Hibari narrowed his eyes as the strange herbivore started slowly backing away and a sudden feeling opened up in his chest. As the long-haired carnivore stepped closer to "Tsunayoshi", which he supposed was his name, and raised his hand up, Hibari found himself in between the two, raising his tonfa in a defensive stance and facing Akito. "What are you doing? Striking a child is against Namimori moral code."_

_Akito regarded the children in front of him curiously. True, he had raised his hand as if to hit Tsuna, but he wasn't that heartless. He had been simply attempting to scare his son for worrying him. But now…he had found another child with great potential, "Ara? Well now, who said I was going to hit Tsuna? He's my son, and who are you?"_

_Tsuna, watching the exchange in front of him, eerily felt like there weren't two people in front of him, but rather a wolf glaring up at a... an unknown beast of some sort. But either way, he felt like dead meat. Then, the two animals turned to look at him._

"_So, Tsunayoshi/strange herbivore, what are you doing here and who is this?"_

_Yep. He was dead meat._

* * *

"Kyoya-san, did my otouto already speak with you?" Kagami asked as he kicked to door to the Reception Room open. His superior looked up from the paperwork that he had been reading and glared at the First Vice-Chairman. "I guess he did, with that glare you have."

"Shut up before I bite you to death," was the responsorial growl as the head prefect tried to not snap the pen he was writing with. Kagami just shrugged and departed, but not before taking the last word.

"By the way, did you hear that Mochida challenged Tsuna to a duel afterschool today?"

"…Tch, fool. You better do your duty."

"Will do. We don't want a dead body sullying the grounds of Nami-chuu, after all."

The duel between "Dame-Tsuna" and Mochida attracted the attention of a large crowd of students, mostly those who had nothing better to do and wanted to see someone beaten up. In the middle of it stood Mochida, who was in protective kendo gear and held a shinai, and Tsuna, who looked absolutely bored and was sitting cross-legged on the gym floor, leaning languidly on one hand with his eyes closed. It ticked off the kendo team captain as he glared at the boy and decided that since there were now enough people to witness Dame-Tsuna's greatest failure, it was time to begin.

"Hey! Should you really be relaxed!" he yelled. Tsuna didn't reply, serving to irritate him further. "Since I know that you don't know kendo, all you have to do is get one point off me and you'll win." _Heh, this will be too easy. _He gloated. _No matter what, I'm a superior athlete that has been to the kendo nationals, and he's just dame-Tsuna! Not to mention that the referee is one of my teammates! Easy! _

_I don't want to do thiiiiiis. _Tsuna whined to himself, Opening his eyes, he stood up and stared at Mochida listlessly, then turned around and started walking off.

"Hey, what are you doing?" the idiot that had challenged him to the match in the first place screamed. Tsuna paused in his steps and looked over his shoulder in disdain.

"It's called using the restroom, fool."

When he managed to escape the gymnasium and head to the main school buildings, he found himself at gunpoint to a CZ75 1ST, courtesy of Reborn. "Hi Reborn. Care to tell me why you have me at gunpoint?"

The boy's nonchalance surprised the hitman. According to what he had heard about Tsunayoshi Sawada, the boy should have started shrieking like a little girl and trying to escape. All well, he still needed to figure out what happened to Iemitsu's employee and daughter. "Are you running away?" the infant demanded.

"Yes. I feel no need to fight an imbecile that doesn't know half the correct way to hold a shinai," Tsuna replied, continuing to walk towards the men's restroom.

"Mafia bosses don't run away from fights," Reborn snapped, trigger finger twitching at the insolence that his student was displaying. When there was no reaction, he added, "What about your friend Kyoko?"

Tsuna paused in mid-stride, eyes widening at the thoughts of what Mochida would do if he got his hands on Kyoko. "She'll be fine," he answered a moment later, "I'm just going to use the restroom and then I'm going to make Mochida wish he never even looked at her."

"And how will you do that?"

"Reborn, if you really are a hitman that's here to teach me to become Vongola Decimo, you'll need to know a few things. And the first one is that I am far from no-good." With that, Tsuna shot his tutor a sunny smile…before bolting away from the school. Reborn narrowed his eyes and took aim for Tsuna's forehead, scolding himself for momentarily believing that the boy was more than what he appeared to be.

The brunette collapsed mid-stride, cursing himself for being shot. _If Reborn was telling the truth, then that was a Dying Will Bullet. _

_I wish…I could've beaten up Mochida for treating my friend like a possession. _The corpse suddenly shot up, eyes blazing orange. Reborn looked in shock as his student did not exhibit any of the usual side-effects of the Dying Will Bullet, i.e. clothes-shredding and uncontrollable emotions.

The boy sprinted off towards the gymnasium, shoving open the doors and walking in on a very unwelcome sight. Namely, Mochida claiming that since Tsuna had disappeared, Kyoko was now his. _Hell no, bastard. _Tsuna thought as he charged at Mochida, sending him flying with a roundhouse kick. There was a sickening crack at the target's back hit the gymnasium wall.

The crowd promptly shut up. Mochida slid down from the wall, his kendo uniform already beginning to bleed through. Said wall had a sizeable dent in it. Reborn was growing more suspicious by the second. And Kagami sighed, pickpocketed Yamamoto's phone, and called the ambulance.

Tsuna blinked several times, still standing in the same spot that he had kicked Mochida, his eyes returning to their normal honey-brown. Smiling politely, he turned to Kyoko and proffered a hand. "Ne, Kyoko-chan, let's hurry to the Base, okay?" he asked cheerfully, as if there wasn't a senpai in critical condition just a few meters away. To everyone's surprise. Kyoko just shook her head resignedly and followed the one and only Dame-Tsuna out, along with Yamamoto Takeshi, Kurokawa Hana, and the Left Hand of the Disciplinary Committee, who, before leaving, turned around with a sadistic grin and announced,

"You herbivores are crowding. I will break you all to death." Upon those words, everyone scattered, making way for the paramedics to come through and give Mochida emergency aid.

* * *

"_So, Tsunayoshi, mind telling me why the hell you are here in the forest instead of obeying me and going off to find a friend?" Akito inquired cheerfully as if he was currently NOT holding two children, one with black hair and other one being his son, in a chokehold. _

_When there was no reply, Akito tightened his grip on his right elbow a little more, causing Tsuna to let out a strangled gasp before answering, "I got distracter and was busy doing something else. I was planning on looking for a friend tomorrow!" he wailed in an attempt to somehow pierce his father's heart with pity._

_Didn't work._

"_And you," Akito turned to look at the furious Skylark in his left arm, "Why were you attacking my son?" _

_Hibari was silent, enraged that he was being manhandled so easily. Him, a carnivore, was still in a chokehold of the long-haired carnivore and it was driving him insane, especially because his spar with the not-herbivore had been interrupted. Akito squeezed his elbow around the boy's neck a bit more, causing Hibari to give him a glare that would reduce a normal adult to shaking in fear. _

"_We were sparring. I wanted to see how strong the not-herbivore is," the 10-year-old wheezed. Akito arched an eyebrow in surprise._

"_Why do you want to see how strong Tsuna is?" the man asked curiously._

"_Because he is interesting. In front of others, he is a completely useless herbivore," an arrow went through Tsuna's heart, "but when no one looks he is truly carnivorous. That is why I fought him."_

_Akito was silent for a bit before suddenly dropping the two children like a sack of potatoes. Both landed on their feet and Tsuna looked up at Akito expectantly whilst Hibari went to retrieve his tonfa. "I'm sorry, Akito-nii." _

_The man rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue loudly, "Tch. Tsuna, you ended up making a friend after all. I'll let you off for now. Can you tell me where Kaen is?" Tsuna shook his head. "Why?"_

"_Kaen-nii said that if I ran into you, I had to distract you because he wants to live long enough to marry you," the child said innocently, unaware that he had just sealed the redhead's doom. Akito flushed red before stomping off into the woods angrily. Tsuna turned back to face Hibari._

"_Friends are for herbivores," he growled before the not-herbivore could say anything. The child looked up at him unflinchingly, then cocked his head to the side._

"_But big animals like lions and wolves live in packs!" Tsuna pointed out cutely, "And if you're my friend, we can fight whenever we want!"_

_Eventually, Tsunayoshi would find himself regretting that promise. Who knew that Hibari Kyoya had enough stamina to fight three days and three nights without rest?_

* * *

As the motley group of teens wandered through Namimori Town, headed towards the woods, Tsuna couldn't help but smile at his first memory of the Base. It was a place that was definitely precious to all of them, and their individual keys proved it.

The Base was a set of 5469 (in all) square feet rooms that were all about 20 feet underground. The only two ways to enter two of the rooms was walking into a giant snake corpse (courtesy of an assassin that specialized in using bioengineered animals to kill targets) or performing a set of maneuvers on the playground on top of the Base. As they all wanted to get in as quickly as possible, Tsuna took one last look around to scan the area for Reborn, and they all dashed into the snake's jaw, falling into a steep ravine full of jagged stones. Any sane person would grab one and start crawling out, but the group simply continued their downhill slide towards an area that appeared to be full of dangerously sharp rocks, but they concealed a set of landmines. At the last minute, everyone slid around one of the corpse's ribs, landing hard on a steel plate. Once the plate registered everyone's mass, it slid down to the ground, and a few seconds later, everyone was in front of the bunker doors.

The doors were made of solid steel and had several keyholes in them. Hence, the specially customized keys that everyone carried. However, inserting a key into one of the locks first would prompt the base to automatically destroy and wipe all data in its hard drive. First, one would have to hold their key in front of the electronic eye in the door, which would then scan the metal, deactivate the trigger in each lock, and then people would be able to open their doors and go in.

So many safety precautions. Only because his fathers were paranoid assassins that thought of every little tiny possibility.

As everyone went through the base and once again met up in the training room, which doubled as a conference area, Tsuna looked around at his friends with slight sadness. All because of Reborn, their lives would take a drastic change.

But first, he needed to ask the question.

"Are you guys willing to continue following me, even though I am about to pretty much join the Mafia?" the 14 year old whispered.

"Of course, Tsuna! After all, being involved with you so many years, aren't we pretty much part of the Mafia anyway?" Yamamoto answered first without hesitation. He had known this kid for 6 years and was still willing to follow through gunshots and swordfights.

"Tsu-kun, if that is all you intend to ask, you already know my answer," Kyoko replied next. Hana nodded in agreement.

"Kufufu, of course I will. Following you means my mission to destroy the Mafia will be easier," a chuckle resounded through the room as Kagami's eye twitched and he threw a key towards the direction that the voice had come from. The team's illusionist just chuckled again as he stepped out of hiding and threw back the daggerlike key.

Tsuna coughed to catch Kagami's attention, seeing as his half-brother was currently occupied with trying to kill their illusionist. "Nii-san,"

"No," the teen replied flatly, pausing his attacks to retrieve his keys. Everyone else stiffened as Yamamoto's hand started twitching towards one of the katana on the wall and Kyko and Hana took a step near the guns. The pineapple-head that he had been attacking narrowed his eyes and stabbed his trident to the floor, ready to activate some painful illusions.

"Why?" Tsuna asked in confusion.

"I only follow my fathers. If otou-san or chichue tell me to attack you, I will. If your orders contradict theirs, I will not hesitate to disobey you," Kagami said flatly. Everyone else relaxed, understanding the other's meaning.

"After all, they are my parents, and you are merely my adopted brother and they are my acquaintances."

There was some silence as Kagami stared at Tsuna blankly, wanting to see his reaction. Said reaction bored his, as it was just a deep breath and some more instructions. "Guys, I want you to temporarily behave as if you are anything but my friends. Reborn, like I said, is getting suspicious already and f he finds out Akito-nii's identity, then we are screwed and Vindice might be called on us. I will have to "befriend" you guys in front of him," he added air quotes while saying "befriend", "to lessen his suspicions and raise the chances of him recruiting at least a few of you as my Guardians." Yamamoto, Mukuro, and Kagami shifted a bit uneasily. The girls just stared at Tsuna patronizingly.

"Will you be okay?" Kyoko asked softly. "Are you okay with us pretending like we have no connection to you?"

Their leader hesitated before shaking his head. "It will be hard, but first I will have to convince Reborn that "dame-Tsuna" doesn't exist. After that…Things will be different, and I will be in position to control and tame the Mafia."

* * *

**Exile: I said it was going to be confusing.**

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**Kagami Rei - 15 years old physically. Biologically related to both Rokujou Akito and Teritsukeru Kaen, even though the two have never engaged in...intercourse, thus is half-brother by adoption to Sawada Tsunayoshi. More data to be added at a later date.**

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**On another note: the summary says allfem!27. That means the main pairing is still undecided and I'm opening up voting for the main pairing :D**

**Restrictions: No yuri. As in Kyoko27 or 9627, because Tsuna is a crossdressing GIRL, in case you've forgotten. And no Arcobaleno27 -don'tshootmeplease- because I can't stand pedophilia. And I know people would argue with me on this...but please, I'm begging you TT_TT. But if you do want Arcobaleno27, the most I can promise is very shippy and fluffy moments. But I will not do C27 because I ship ColoLal too much.**

**Other than that, vote by review and each person can vote for up to two pairing a chapter. This'll be open for about 6 chapters :D And I only count votes on this chapter to chapter 9.**

**Do try to be fair, please ^_^**

**Ooh, and no OC27 either.**

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**I am also looking for a beta. If you are interested in the position, here are the requirements:**

**Can work well with OCs**

**Works at a moderately fast rate. **

**Willing to contact me through email.**

**Is willing to be my beta for this fandom. AKA, other KHR stories as well. Check the stories on my profile and see if you can beta the other KHR ones. **

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**Review?**


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